THANK YOU letter to MEN • Angelica Horvatic
In just a few short months my work with Completion Process ( emotional trauma healing process ) has brought to me many male clients.
At least 60% of my private clients and the ones who attend my workshops at the moment are MEN.
At first I wasn’t sure what to think of that :p so I just went with the flow.
And so day after day.. Hour after hour.. I have let men SPEAK.
I have listened to THEIR story.
I have talked to them and helped guiding them to their PEACE.
I have watched and listened their crying in front of me.. Their weeping.. Their heart breaking wailing.. Whimpering.. Their bawling..
And I’ve let myself cry with them.
I helped them wipe their tears away.
I held them.
I hugged them.
I comforted them.
And – for the FIRST time in my life – I’ve really FELT their pain.
I so needed that. I so needed to – SEE men… HEAR men… Give them space and time.. for THEIR story.
And they themselves needed that so desperately… To be seen.. To be heard…
For the first time in my life I am now truly – learning – to understand and ACCEPT men – instead of judging and criticizing them from my woman’s perspective.
And I feel so honoured. I feel blessed. I feel SO grateful, to finally be able to be – fully present – with men and their pain.
THANK YOU MEN…
And now for all the men out there who are still afraid or ashamed to talk about their feelings, about their pain – I would like to send the message out – to all parents and future parents of all the little boys:
PLEASE… PLEASE shower your little boy with LOADS of affection.. kisses.. hugs.. cuddles..
Praise him, compliment him and tell him how much you love him – EVERY DAY.
Spend quality time with your son every day.
Play with him, look into his eyes deeply and – talk to him – ask him questions – listen to him – hold him…
Accept and validate – ALL his feelings – the ones you like – AND the ones you DON’T – his anger, his fear, his hurt, his sadness – his pain..
He has RIGHT to feel whatever and whenever he feels and he also has right to express it.
He ISN’T your little clown.
He ISN’T your entertainer.
He ISN’T your little superman.
He IS your little boy.
PLEASE – go and HEAL YOUR own TRAUMA.
So you don’t cause MORE trauma and more damage to your child.
PLEASE CONNECT – with your son every day.
HE NEEDS IT. SO MUCH…………!!!
HE CRAVES FOR IT.
AND – HE WILL MOST PROBABLY NEVER ASK FOR IT.
For all mothers here – your ‘naughty’ son is most probably just STARVED for your affection…
For your gentle words and touches.. Your hugs and kisses..
PLEASE – give it to him.
And in Abundance.
You – OWE him that – as YOU yourself – are responsible – for bringing him into this life.
STOP nagging him.
Stop filling his little world with YOUR problems.
Let him have – HIS CHILDHOOD.
He is NOT your personal trash bin.
He is NOT your hero who needs to save you from YOUR life problems.
He IS a beautiful little human being who just needs to be LOVED – who needs to be appreciated and accepted – for who HE IS.
For all the fathers here – PLEASE work on – YOUR low self-esteem issues – so you can love and understand your little son unconditionally.
LOVE your little son the way he deserves to be loved – without your constant judging… criticising… blaming… shaming…
STOP putting him down.
Stop ridiculing him.
Stop calling him names.
Stop beating him up.
He is NOT your emotional punch bag.
STOP being a bully.. A tyran.. A dictator.. To – your own son.
You are his DAD.
Your DUTY is to love and support him.. to understand him.. to teach him.. to help him.
HIS duty ISN’T to admire you and kiss your butt every day.
Allow him to have – HIS – values.. HIS beliefs…
ALLOW HIM TO HAVE HIS DREAMS…………
So your son can become a healthy man.
MAN WHO KNOWS WHAT LOVE IS.
MAN WHO FEELS WHAT LOVE IS.
MAN WHO LOVES AND ACCEPTS HIMSELF UNCONDITIONALLY.
Man who isn’t ashamed of failure.
Man who isn’t afraid of disagreements or arguments in his relationships.
Man who isn’t afraid of his emotions.
Man who isn’t afraid or ashamed – TO FEEL.
Man who isn’t afraid or ashamed – to cry.
Man who understands and accepts both – positive and also ‘negative’ emotions – his own and his partner’s ones.
Man who knows HOW to love his woman and how to show her his love.
Man who can look deeply into his woman’s eyes and tell her how much he loves her.
Man who can give and ask for affection in his intimate relationships – without hesitation.
Man who doesn’t have to kill himself to become a millionaire or climb Everest to prove his dad and the world he is –WORTHY.
Man whom world needs so much.
Beautiful.. Healthy.. Mature.. CONSCIOUS man.
Conquer your mountain!