Transformation – Shattered, Broken and Bleeding
Excerpted from Conscious Evolution by Maurice Turmel
When I feel emotionally crushed, I feel psychologically and spiritually squashed. Every part of me feels shattered, broken and bleeding in every sense except the physical.
My body remains intact, but the psychological structures that support it are in tatters. This is the essence of emotional disintegration at the cellular level. I have been through this on a number of occasions during the course of my growth journey. Each time I come back together at a healthier and stronger level.
It is difficult to go through a process such as this. It is literally a shattering experience. Everything you’ve relied on feels broken and strewn across the floor of your life. Your ideas, your dreams, your hopes are all shattered and lying in a heap.
There is a temptation to pick up those pieces and attempt a reintegration, but going back to the old way is no longer possible. Only a new structure can replace this mess. When you feel shattered, broken and bleeding, there’s nothing much to do but wait. In no time, some part of you will begin speaking and show you another way to grow.
That’s just part of the reconstruction process. The old has to break down before the new can begin to emerge. Your body, mind and spirit will come back together as a new and stronger you. Try not to dwell on the anxiety, as that will pass too.
You are letting go of something you don’t need anymore, like a snake shedding its old skin. The snake no longer needs that skin because a new one has been growing underneath. The spiritual and emotional growth you’ve been practicing has taken shape underneath and is ready to be viewed. A newer, fresher version of who you are is coming to the fore.
You will be feeling vulnerable for a while. That old skin kept you cozy with its familiarity and predictability. As with all things in nature, a new order wants to be established and the old has to make room for the new.
We crawl into the deep grass with our anxiety and fear and wait for that old skin to come off. Once that is accomplished we may need to stay for a while because we will feel naked and vulnerable for some time. That’s okay. Take all the time you need. You will be ready to move forward soon enough. This is the nature of a transformation.
A certain point is reached where the old order has to crumble to make room for the new. This is called Positive Disintegration. It is the hope for our future as human beings. Many people want to hang on at this point, fearing the disappearance of the familiar. Our deeper nature has an agenda too and pushing you to grow beyond current limits is an important part. It’s easy to surrender once you become aware of what’s going on inside.
The direction we take after the transformation depends on what we’ve been building underneath. Some of you have been using positive affirmations. Others have been engaged in spiritual writing and growth workshops. These early efforts, along with the dialogues recommended here will bring you to that next step. You know when it’s time to get growing again, because there’s something new knocking at the door that you can bring to conscious awareness..
There is really no going back to the old status quo. No matter how much you may want to, or how hard you try, you cannot unlearn what you’ve been learning. You realize that a part of you is very excited and hopeful about this new found awareness.
What you’re feeling is like the excitement children feel with every new step they take. Each step changes the way we relate to ourselves and the world around us. The new self order will be those things you’ve been working toward, and a few surprises as well. We can’t fully know what we’re building underneath until it comes out to greet us. That’s the surprise and the joy of creation.
Where do we go from here with this emerging Self, this new being arising from within? We’ve been building this by taking courses, reading books, doing exercises, changing our rhythm and vibration, exploring new worlds and opening ourselves to ever expanding possibilities.
The Creative Force has been at work with our active participation. Your Higher Self has been behind the scenes all along, pushing and prodding, urging you to take chances and try something different. Slowly but surely you open to that center where your inner guidance lives and make the connection..
This is no mere fancy. This is not about faith. This is simple yet palpable experience that you recognize as your own. Your Higher Self, or your Soul, is your director after all and you recognize that part of you because it is You. You and I are simply an incarnate version of Source’s curiosity, love and joy.
We are designed to grow through self-responsibility. Our human nature is programmed for growth. Our spiritual nature desires for us to grow. Only growth matters in the grand scheme. Source seeks to grow and mature. We, as sparks from the Divine, can grow along with Source, if we so choose..
God’s urging for us to shed our old skin arrives in a timely fashion. It is the correct course for this moment in our evolution. Such events are rarely convenient, but they are necessary. Let yourself shed that old skin now. A transformation is upon you. You will feel shattered, broken and squashed for a while, but that will soon pass. A new you is set to emerge. Let that be your gift to yourself and to Source. Time to show off that shiny new Self.
I appreciate that you’ve done a lot of work on yourself to this point. Otherwise, you would not be reading this far. You have been sensing that there is something in the air, something new to explore in terms of personal development. Let there be no more doubt about that feeling, there is something new in the air and it is called Ascension.
Our work together in this program will be both spiritual and dynamic. This program raises the bar on what it means to be spiritual, far beyond what the world’s religions have been teaching. The majority of today’s religions are 3rd dimensional and have no concept of what Ascension actually means.
Ascension, at this time in human history, means moving from 3rd dimensional density consciousness to 5th dimensional expanded consciousness where the world will appear as different as night from day. In fact you could simply describe the process as moving from Darkness to Light. That is the power of this experience.